Barracks Footlocker

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November 16, 2015 by M Grant

Welcome to the first part of Monster Darlings’ Tables of Contents series of posts, where we’ll be providing d100 lists of items found in various kinds of containers.

Lots of places that player characters in fantasy RPGs want to loot house (or once housed) soldiers, guards and servants.  Barracks and quarters for these kind of personnel contain an enticing number of chests, but those chests are likely full of personal belongings rather than traditional treasure.

Dry descriptions of neatly folded uniforms, moldering or freshly laundered, and a few paltry handfuls of silver don’t paint a very humanizing picture of the people, living or historical, whose underthings the players are rifling through.  Even soldiers of the dark lord need some recreational time, during which they’re likely to pursue romance, creative endeavors, and personal hobbies.  So this week we must journey to the plane of four legs, in search of 100 better items to stock their footlockers with.

Assume all items are in addition to the spare clothes one would expect, and feel free to add other details:

  1. A hideous cloak embroidered with the word “HERO” by an amateur.
  2. Stolen silverware from multiple dining sets, wrapped in a sheet.
  3. A proper lady’s veil, kerchief, or other mark of favour.
  4. Several score of pretty (but worthless) stones.
  5. A leather dog collar.
  6. A rabbit’s foot on a leather cord.
  7. A sack of glass marbles.
  8. Comfortable wool slippers and a thick wool robe.
  9. A well-loved stuffed pixie doll, missing a glass eye.
  10. A wooden flute glued back together after being snapped in frustration.
  11. A dozen empty tins of boot polish, and one unopened one.
  12. A linen bag of worn socks full of holes, and some darning needles.
  13. A dented iron locket containing a length of hair.
  14. A tarnished silver locket containing a painting of a loved one.
  15. A roll of clean gauze and a leather eyepatch with a snapped strap.
  16. A sketchbook with charcoal drawings of prominent residents.
  17. A simple hand mirror, tiny scissors, mustache wax and a pumice stone.
  18. A heart-shaped box of sweets, half-eaten.
  19. A neat stack of unset rat traps.
  20. A whittling knife and several wooden animal figures of appreciable quality.
  21. Several incomplete decks of playing cards.
  22. A small collection of fossil-bearing stones.
  23. A cloth blindfold and earplugs.
  24. A large, heavy bear fur.
  25. A book of religious scripture, spine uncreased, clearly never opened.
  26. A book of religious scripture, heavily dogeared.
  27. A book of religious scripture, the first half torn out for use as sanitary paper.
  28. A book of religious scripture, with the sermons against kinslaying underlined.
  29. Smoking supplies thrown in a burlap sack.
  30. Smoking supplies arranged in a fancy leather case.
  31. Several atomizers filled with overpowering floral perfumes.
  32. A bound dream journal describing disturbing, guilt-driven dreams.
  33. A bound dream journal detailing a rich and imaginative inner life.
  34. A book of pressed flowers and leaves, with a few four-leaf clovers.
  35. A bottle of spirits from a modest but appreciable vintage.
  36. A booklet of mean limericks written about other residents.
  37. A cracked helmet, split in a fashion that suggests a mortal blow to the head.
  38. An obsessively organized collection of sixty small, sharp knives.
  39. A pamphlet on how to perform palmistry.
  40. A small bundle of fireworks.
  41. Bulky, fur-lined winter clothes.
  42. Six pairs of bronzed baby shoes.
  43. A signed admission that the owner is a better duelist than the author.
  44. A high-quality kite with a dragon-like tail.
  45. A clay jar of powder which turns out to be laxatives.
  46. A clay jar of powder which turns out to be itching powder.
  47. A clay jar of powder which turns out to be medicine for a rash.
  48. A clay jar of powder which turns out to be opium.
  49. A clay jar of powder which turns out to be pepper.
  50. A clay jar of honey, mostly crystallized.
  51. A clay jar of pickled pigs’ feet.
  52. A clay jar of rhubarb, blueberry or quince jelly.
  53. A bound leather case filled with sad poetry.
  54. A bound leather case filled with steamy love letters.
  55. A bound leather case filled with letters of courtly romance.
  56. A bound leather case filled with (unsent) death threats.
  57. A bound leather case containing a hackneyed manuscript for a play.
  58. Wood carvings of scantily-clad figures in suggestive poses.
  59. A slender blade emblazoned with elven runes: “wielder is an idiot.”
  60. A short sword in a leather scabbard decorated with roses.
  61. An unwieldy dagger with a blade on each end.
  62. A set of hand weights for exercise.
  63. A domino mask and three fake roses.
  64. A two-headed copper piece.
  65. A cinnamon roll so stale it is practically a rock.
  66. A collection of coins minted in various kingdoms and eras.
  67. An antler, half a deer’s jawbone, and some teeth.
  68. A brass bracelet that matches a brass bracelet in another footlocker.
  69. A note scolding another resident for going through their things.
  70. A riddle carved into the base of the footlocker.
  71. A little bag full of knucklebones.
  72. Many neatly-stacked bars of soap, perhaps more than a hundred.
  73. A board game of wooden tiles with gnomish letters and no instructions.
  74. A skull being used to hold the shape of a crushed felt hat.
  75. Five small steel handbells.
  76. A tiny wood or pewter idol to a popular deity.
  77. A tiny wood or pewter idol to a lesser-known deity.
  78. A tiny wood or pewter figurine of a small woodland creature.
  79. A tiny wood or pewter figurine of a hunched and twisted troll.
  80. A stash of truly ancient ram jerky.
  81. A cumbersome helmet with lead lining.
  82. An ornate music box that plays a jaunty nursery song.
  83. Several lacquered gourds filled with metal beads.
  84. A rubber handball with only a few dings and nicks.
  85. A disassembled hand crossbow with a few missing pieces.
  86. A cast-iron family crest featuring a heraldric beast & motto.
  87. A lantern with shapes cut into its casing so it projects animal shadows.
  88. A leather cord necklace strung with large, sharp teeth.
  89. A very large horsehair brush with a wolf’s head carved into the handle.
  90. A lute with a broken string (and in need of a tuning).
  91. A black leather belt studded with imposing iron spikes.
  92. An iron belt buckle in the shape of an eagle taking wing.
  93. An iron belt buckle in the shape of a leering skull.
  94. An iron belt buckle in the shape of a mermaid.
  95. An iron belt buckle in the shape of a kite shield.
  96. An incomplete ship-in-a-bottle, tweezers, and modeling glue.
  97. Small souvenir pennant flags from multiple nearby cities.
  98. An ugly codpiece/brassiere of laughably impressive dimensions.
  99. A fire-scorched silver broach.
  100. A bleached skull from a troll, ogre or other such creature.

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